Nowadays I just prefer being locked up in my room and read for my exams without having to set foot in UCL and risk running into teachers and fellow students (however dear). I want to get through this on my own terms and focus on what I have to do, without being distracted by my surroundings and what everyone else around me are doing, because it just adds to the pressure and the nerves. However, today I had to drag my sorry behind to the History of Art department building – a place that I have been avoiding for two weeks because 1) I knew it contained my essay results, and 2) I had problems breathing when going near the place because I knew it contained my essay results.
I felt that I had been taking a slightly experimental approach to my essays this term, and I was expecting a pure mass slaughter from evil UCL (yes yes, I am dead scared of my own uni). I could barely stand upright as I peeped into the “L” pigeon hole:
What a waste of energy it was being so scared – however, excellent does not equal an A. I think me and my essays are under a curse – we are always 2 % from getting that oh-so-tasty 1st. However, I am so relieved and pleased anyway, because my teachers did not slaughter me, but found my essays to be “fascinating”. Comforting to know I am not a complete imbecile. But next term – oh next term I shall break this evil curse that has fallen upon me.
Afterwards I decided to be skippy and social at the Hare & Tortoise:
Ok, back to my studies now, been spending far too much time on this entry. Bless my dad for having sent me emergency provisions from Norway to keep my spirit and energy levels up:
Too bad half of it is already gone…