So, the newest hype at UCL is the UCL Fit Finder, a website which was launched a few days ago and basically works like this: If you spot a hottie in the library, you log on to the Fit Finder and give a description of that person and their whereabouts. Hopefully that person will recognize himself/herself from the Fit Feed and fulfill all your urges.

Some of my favourite extracts:

Female, Blonde. Fresher#1 deeply in love with fresher#2.Think she (tries to) play hockey, about 2-3 ft tall, has lack of chat to go with her lack of height.Marry me?

Male, Brunette. Looking at art quartos. Looks the arty type. Wonder how big his painbrush is?

Female, Brunette. Pink and purple stripey jumper – looks innocent actually FILTHY. Just touched me innapropriately under the table…

Male, Brunette. On the phone on third floor, t-shirt with hockey on the back, amazing dress sense, bit of stubble, OH the things i would let you do to me…WOW

Male, Brunette. Hot Spanish and ripped. Our eyes locked as we met on the stairs, the sparks flew. Come get me big boy!

Female, Brunette. Asian looking girl, row closest to door, white top -stop being so damn HOT its destroying my revision!

Male, Brunette. saucy boy in the checkered top and black shorts. just walked in. those legs make me want to do unimaginably naughty things with u…

Male, Other. Tall Ginger hottie. burnt face. very red. with a reallly cool badge on his shirt. looks like the jolly green giant….get in my pants sexy

Female, Brunette. YOU over there with the glasses! Take them off, you won’t need them for what I have in mind

Male, Other. Extremely sexy asian in library yesterday, think he was studying medicine. Looks like he might have a big penis

Female, Brunette. Hot. Possibly Russian. For you, sexy Anastasia, I’d go gay anyday. I’ll teach you a biology lesson you woun’t forget 😉

Male, Blonde. Aryan God!!11 Be my Übermensch.

Female, Blonde. Generally fit. Rare at UCL. Shame about the ugly friends.

This really is such a bad time to launch such a hilariously funny tool – now UCL will drop down from 4th best uni in the world to 300th best, because of all the students who are supposed to be cramming for their exams, half are busy looking out for fitties to add to the Fit Finder, and the other half is too busy checking the Fit Finder to see if they made it to the Fit Feed.

Seriously, I’m gonna dress up the next time I go to the library.